welcome2 my mess

new blogger address.,..everybody listen up!

2005-07-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

okay guys ..sooo here's the breaking news of the day or night if u're in california los angeles new york...wherever..i've changed over to msn spaces ..so from now on id be doing all the posting there..so ya STICK AROUND
pPS: I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO INSERT THE LINK IN THE ARTICLE ..
WUD GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS I FIND OUT:)!
till the mean time my new url is
http://spaces.msn.com/members/privacymatters/
sorry for the inconvenience..

and the cold doesn't go away

2005-07-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

okay so i had this really nasty cold five days baack and called up a doctor friend of mine to ask what medication to take and he was like paracetamol 3 times a day cetrizine :once a day ,before you sleep ..and i was like aaarghh....im not taking so many medicines.PERIOD. but then obviously considering the dire straits condition i was in i decided to give it a try for a few days or the time till my nose stopped running and i didn't feel the aching pain in my templess and legs..so after two days when all those horrible symptoms associated with the cold stopped i stopped taking the medicines but before i could say"vIOLA"! man, im cured! im again down with the running nose.. the itch in the throat ..the blah blah
okay did i tell you i finally bought that new album by juggy d it has all the latest songs by him,"akheer" being my favourite though i cudn't quite get what it means its still got one of the most beautiful sufi sounds ever heard..have to rush to kaplan now
till i catch you next
keep pedaling:)

whew!..im back and so much has happened since

2005-06-14T05:21:00.000-07:00

okay first things first big apologies due to all those reading my blog for such a long long absence have been quite busy with things since exams got over and vacations started and as you can guess there's so much to talk about my fingers are literally flying on the keyboard ..
now what were those things that kept me away so long?
well firstly congratulations are in order my sister just got married amd yes i mean my real sister to her not so gr8 looking one yr(i think..) BF so right after practicals got over i was shopping like mad for the engagement and right after engagement got over i was packing like mad to go to this trekking expedition that gets organised once a year ...so things have been pretty crazy since and had i a laptop with me during the trek i would have recorded every one of the truly crazy things i lived through..came back earlier than planned started shopping for the marriage things got out of control left for hyderabad in a week for my industrial training stayed for two weeks had the most swell time of my life ..watched movies at iMAX saw all those historical monuments and had coconut water every evenings,..pure bliss!
okay so now that im back im planning to join coaching for my GRE exam just checked out the centre today and lets see.. looks like a pretty good place to meet some hot hunks;-)..
till i catch ya next keep the faith

studying is not as bad as it seems

2005-05-11T05:05:00.000-07:00

what with my annual practicals going i really don't have much of a choice but then again in all this crap i think that is the only thing that still lends some meaning to things..honestly i wouldn't mind studying all my life at least as much as i can ..organic practical up next and i have to say thats one tough nut to crack but i'm game..!:)
till i catch you next
(holiday,vacation..what's that!?)

notting hill

2005-05-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

make believin' we're together that im sheltered in your heart ...
but in and outside i turn to water ...like a teardrop in your palm...
why is finding true love so hard ..no i mean seriously i am still of the old school of thought ..idealist romantic dreamer but then seriously what is it that im looking for...never made sense to me how people could hook up so easily...i mean i always knew if a guy was not right for me the first time i talked to him..or maybe i don't ..i think i do ,..but still i believe in the pit of your stomach one always knows when someone is made for you and well, when someone is not quite made for you...saw 'notting hill' tonite and its been ages since i met and saw some really genuine guys..no hangups ,no complexes ...and well someone you would love spending your entire day with ..who takes you out for ice cream at night ,cooks lunch for you and generally makes you have a good time ..someone you can just depend on rock solid strong..there for you rain or outpour ..and well someone you can share all your jokes with .,.laugh like you just ate a big fat elephant..and well someone who loves you for you and not how rich you are or how much money you have...do such people still exist ...maybe thats why falling in love is so hard
the touch of your hand tells me u'll catch me whenever i fall...
you say it best when you say nothing at all..
oh by the way i think ive got a new crush..blame it on the bad boy 'hugh grant' looks

physical pharmacy

2005-05-06T05:38:00.000-07:00

think ive never studied for a viva as hard as i did for this one..got spreading coefficient and kinetics 1 for the experiments and had a real problem with the readings but it worked out fine in the end ..also for a change felt pretty confident in the viva ..apart from one or two, could answer almost all the questions asked..
came back home had south indian for dinner and checked out 'lucky'..rather liked it salman's always a favourite but even the movie is well made ..great songs (favourite being the adnan sami number..shayad yahi to pyar hai )..great landscapes ..the girl looks her part too of being an innocent schoolgirl n all....

second annual practical

2005-05-04T05:03:00.000-07:00

had my microbiology practical exam today reached fifteen (...well almost )minutes late and well the synopsis was quite okay as in only one question was asked and i think i did well ...thereafter had my practical exam ,got the gram staining of m/o and i identified mine as coccus ..gram positive the examiner was pretty cute..and the second experiment was agar slant demonstration ..thereafter the viva was a real drag mostly thanks to my turn coming so late ..had to wait for almost two hours or more n in between bouts of hunger(..special mention to 'king khan' who got me 'kurkure' :) anxiety..frantic scurrying around for the questions asked by the external to whoever came out of the 'green room'(!) i think i did okay in the end...oh by the way its ages since i read a book
music playing in my head..where are you ..when i was hurt and helpless.........

first annual practical

2005-05-03T01:47:00.000-07:00

so it was my first annual practical today and i think it went quite okay ..inorganic chemistry might not really be a piece of cake but then if you study in a subject oriented way you'd sail through it ..next is microbiology tomorow and then they'd last for almost two weeks i think ..
anyways so wats up with me..nothing much really studies studies ..and more studies ..some two days back this guy called me up in the evening round about five i think and he goes like ....im a friend of "niks" and well i got your number from him coz i wanted to know what are the future prospects of pharmacy as a career (..he was asking about his cousin sister who's just passed her boards) so obviously i went on waxing eloquent to how bright an option it is but the funny thing is that before i knew we were talking about quite some personal stuff that finally ended with him asking me if i wouldn't mind staying in touch with him ,..and guess what since then apart from exchanging those occassional casual sms ,..he msged me today wishing me best of luck for the exams prefixed with ....MY DEAR (..!!?) i think im going to give him the cold shoulder for a few days..:)
wat else ..big news ..."K .LAS" is apparently all gooey eyed about this particular girl from management faculty that he wants me to fix him up with(..and well i thought he had the hots for me...heard from hassnain she's quite a looker..)and so now im pretty excited about playing matchmaker..
anyways gotta run now...have to dash for the hostel accomodation form and the deans letter for the upcoming summer training (yipee...! u bet im excited...)see you later

it can not get any better than this

2005-04-23T22:59:00.000-07:00

went to see 'hitch' the day before ..oh gawd !one amazing movie it is i mean honestly definitely worth more than a watch ..esp liked the part in the end where they don't give a damn about how they're shaking their b*** ..but they don't make guys like' will smith' anymore (..:))! yes i never thought i could actually have a crush on WILL SMITH ...(i mean will smith..willy smith ..no way!:)..)but you watch the movie and you'll fall in love with the charachters..,very real ,very genuine ..
checked out a new hang out place too last night TC ..actually went to 'saket' first but was denied access to this happening place' B' due to overcrowding ..so then reached TC and good thing too coz they don't even charge you for entry,great music ..numbers that i hadn't heard since ages came on air ( and when the DJ played 'floyd' i knew i had come home..)the best part being nobody gave a damn to what anyone else was upto, basically everybody was having a good time..
so till i catch you next
keep tuning in

pathophysiology

2005-04-18T00:49:00.004-07:00

had my pathophysio exam today ..ever since got this crazy real short haircut from Harrry 'the great' (told him i don't want it so short but those devilish razor scissors in his hand and nobody could stop him snippety snap!aargh..felt like giving him a haircut for a change ..)seems people are more keep on lavishing attention on me rather than their exams..not that i mind though
anyways the point is had an absolutely pathetic pathophysio exam today and no its not some internal sessional paper but my final annual university exam
feel like piece of shit
when will i get serious

pathophysiology

2005-04-18T00:49:00.002-07:00

had my pathophysio exam today ..ever since got this crazy real short haircut from Harrry 'the great' (told him i don't want it so short but those devilish razor scissors in his hand and nobody could stop him snippety snap!aargh..felt like giving him a haircut for change ..)seems people are more keep on lavishing attention on me rather than their exams..not that i mind though
anyways the point is had an absolutely pathetic pathophysio exam today and no its not some internal sessional paper but my final annual university exam
feel like piece of shit
when will i get serious

pathophysiology

2005-04-18T00:49:00.000-07:00

had my pathophysio exam today ..ever since got this crazy real short haircut from Harrry 'the great' (told him i don't want it so short but those devilish razor scissors in his hand and nobody could stop him snippety snap!aargh..felt like giving him a haircut for change ..)seems people are more keep on lavishing attention on me rather than their exams..not that i mind though
anyways the point is had an absolutely pathetic pathophysio exam today and no its not some internal sessional paper but my final annual university exam
feel like piece of shit
when will i get serious

imagine

2005-04-12T00:05:00.000-07:00

i did a google search with the word "imagine" and guess here's what i found ..

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...
Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one
ps:written by 'John Lennon'

on being ME

2005-04-04T00:59:00.000-07:00

gimme love gimme baby gimme gimme love ..oh lover boy ever since i saw you hmm hmmm hmm na nana ..gimme love ..absolutely love this number by alexia quite some time since i heard it wonder how it came to me now..
okay so here i was studying like a madcap the night before for the pharmacology exam stayed the entire night up ,well almost considering if you can discount the two hours sleep in between and the periodic lazy moments now and then ,,yes in between bouts of JACKIE mania(..!! now who would think about that old dog but i ..hehehe..GAWD im sorry if you are reading this sir but can't help but laugh at the sorry state of affairs ..ahhh.. there's comedy in irony!)) and school times i pretty much DID study for it..early morning standing on the balcony ,the insecurity getting to me at times,, three hours. two hours.. half an hr left.. no time left to make targets ,,forget about the deadlines ..would just be happy to complete a swift reading before TIME and this time think did pretty well with my revisions and all..but the funny and very irritating thing was that just didn't feel like writing in the exam hall ..i mean how crazy can i get ,, ..considering the way i studied for the goddamn paper ud think id be itching to let it all come out ,but the true blue libran (read moody..unpredictable..lazy..intelligent.actually 'ME 'comes in many 'avatars' ..so hey don't get me started..!;)) that i am, i didn't feel like putting pen to paper ..like really working my answers out into some real marks..so i just wrote enough that i supposed would get me passing marks (.. what was i thinking ..knowledge is power...some drink at the fountain of knowledge while others just gargle..PROFOUND ,,)and now it turns out that obviously on hindsight im not exactly happy with my paper and lets hope to god i don't flunk this one!..
till i catch you next
i need a chill pill

eggjam time

2005-03-28T01:43:00.000-08:00

thats exam time in case you were wondering and yes it does feel great to be back after such a long time doing what i love to do hmmm so wats the latest lowdown ..first exam today, organic chemistry went pretty bad.. lets hope i pass have a lot of studying to do for microbiology.. physical pharmacy might turn out to be an albatross around the neck .Honestly for the first im really scared about doing well in my papers think partly due to the high expectations at home coz supposedly this time around ive been studying relatively more than the first year ..don't want to disappoint them really but hate when people expect you to do well just because you expect yourself to do better ..hmm heavy duty stuff gawd.. dont mess up things this time..
and please pass me in organic chem:)
love u all

total control

2005-02-25T00:42:00.000-08:00

okay i admit it im a control freak i like things done my way not only when to comes to matters concerning me but also matters pertaining to people close to me and i absolutely hate when things don't go according to MY WAY ! maybe thats why im not really into PR n pple dealing but absolutely love my books ...one world where im the boss ,where everything is perfect ..clean good straight total control ..pure bliss! maybe thats why i love my blog so much:)!

falling to pieces

2005-02-21T01:22:00.000-08:00

my life is currently pretty disheveled so to speak assignments have to be done with files completed and revisions for the finals started considering ive just about a month to go or maybe less( coz of the impending third sessional practicals before the finals )think it wouldn't be wrong to say I BETTER GET STARTED AND GOING !whew would chanelize that into sumthing more consructive ...
betcha!

hey did you say sumthing about valentine's day?

2005-02-11T23:54:00.000-08:00

okay so i admit its valentine's day well almost considering the way my batchmates are reacting ud think everyday of the week gone by was a valentines day no but seriously is it such a big deal (and no im not saying that the grapes are sour coz i don't have any..)i mean honestly WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT HAVING A BF/GF?you don't have to have some torrid affair to feel young i mean youth is not a time of life it is a temper of the will it is the predominanace of courage over timidity ,of the love for adventure over APPETTITE FOR EMOTIONS..really being young being alive means wanting to change the world not just sitting on your a**(pardon my lang. but thats just to drive home the point..)waiting for things to get done but actually going out there n roughing it on ur own sure enough its not as rosy as the red roses on a valentine's day but then i think when you live like that you are "forever young" and each day is a valentine's day

every breath you take

2005-02-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

yes i am finally going to see the sting concert on the 6th feb at the dilli habitat grounds pritampura undoubtedly one of the biggest musical performances of 2005 im going to reach a bit early n grab the front row seats though i don't think there is going to be any seating arrangement but to get a full eyes view of sting ooh sting wud be awesome ..........i mean i can't believe it IM GONNA SEE STING LIVE! really how big can it getjust wish the rolling stones would come more often :)
hey by d way think i forgot to say how much i absolutely love my parents..hey guys ur the greatest truly madly deeply:)

my best friends wedding

2005-01-31T01:08:00.000-08:00

had been looking forward to this wedding for the past week or so and well even planned to diet ,exercise a week before it( which unfortunately didn't go quite according to the plan..:))anyways all said and done got ready for the big nite face scrub ,hair wash at the last minute blow dry had planned on an absolutely stunning make up but couldn't find any liquid eyeliner ..hmm so did the bestest of what i could absolutely loved the strawberry tasting pink lip gloss but think ate most of it by the time we reached the venue ,..so basically i was this chirpy bubbly full of life grl ready to have a blast but honestly speaking the wedding turned out to be such a sop i mean even my partiese much more happening than that ..hmm the crowd was quite simple actually so had the most rocking time splurging on food (it is not quite as bad as it sounds ..:)) i actually enjoyed myself on banana ice cream,n moong dal halwa..well sort of..had been looking forward to seeing my ex bigtime crush but i guess in my ms. hard to get lady marmalade act i got a bit too intense and frightened him away..oh well and when i finally did get to talk with him towards the end of the day i had no mood or energy to apply my brains for a decent conversation..i guess thats life:)

staying alive

2005-01-29T01:44:00.000-08:00

okay so wats happening in my life..competitiveness ..being efficient, no wasting time ,time management , last night i did a overnight meaning stayed up the entire night completing my lovely microbiology project and still have to absolutely have to finish three more projects by the end of the weekend
hey so wat did i do today and yesterday..okay lets see got home from college at around two in the noon after the micro lab saw the australian open semi final between hewit and roddick and was willing for hewitt to win all the time( i love his cool dude act i mean he's one really hot cool stud if u know what i mean ...he just stays put there ..no showy american tough guy attitude and keeps playing ball hitting good strokes time after time stays cool works mart but has obviously worked on his fitness the past few years ..CMON hewit hey but you know think deciding btw safin and hewit is going to be a tough one coz i wud equally like marat to win ...) then compiled all that material for micro project till five in the morning ,heard wicked hour at one , made instant noodles wen was feeling so damn hungry ,slept for a good six hrs and came to college after lunch which reminds me that honestly one should keep a fast for a day every weeek irrespective of ur gender ..coz it just feels so good for a change wen ur stomach is flat wen ur just doing ur work like an automaton and u just feel good...
till i catch ya next
stay alive

ye dil maange more

2005-01-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

the only way to do well in studies is to have an insatiable thirst for knowledge ..to not only do what is being done in class but to do a little more ,a little extra ,to walk that extra mile ..to simply stick it outto keep coming back to class day after day after day ..to never be content
till i make more new self and worldy wise discoveries
ciao

online diary vis a vis bridget jones diary

2005-01-17T21:05:00.000-08:00

you know maybe like yesterday or day before that i was just sitting in bed under the quilt and there were these absolutely great english nos. some of them going back to my schooldays playing on radio and i cudn't help thinking that nothing beats a normal hard cover bound bridget jones's diary i wanted to record my thoughts so much at that pt. of time but didn't have access to the net
anyways exams just got over yesterday and obviously though im sitting in college right now there are no classes being held
would keep you posted
see ya

the art of giving exams

2005-01-04T22:15:00.000-08:00

im warming upto it .no please don't get any ideas im talikng about the art of giving exams..two gone seven up ..so u reach college at fifteen minutes to nine half panting half shivering from the frigid cold panting because you are tense,cold and there are a thousand things on your mind and ur running to ur faculty building trying to save time ur scared,terrified you are pacing up and down the parking in front of the administrative block,flipping through the pages,sometimes reading aloud sometimes still for a minute ur brows knit in concentration.. ur twenty minutes late in the exam, snatch the answer sheet and question paper at almost the same time and run through the questions..is it relief or paranoia..u scribble through the first question but realize ur still short on time u almost feel like strangulating the stupid m.pharm student who can't help peering over her shoulder everytime she walks(.. that' dictator 'walk ..)beside you ..u manage to get the fourth question over with amidst all that confusion in the last ten minutes and walk out.. relieved happy u discuss the paper with the first person u see..
u get back home have your lunch no fixed plan ..might go to sleep depending on how much u've slept the night before, study a little but hysteria strikes at the end of the day get a raincheck on the course content and get in the study mode 'flow' nine o'clock after..

the ordeal continues

2005-01-04T01:35:00.000-08:00

had my first theory paper today maths and biostats ..had been studying for the past two three days for it ,so went pretty well ..i think ..let's see ..the two questions on chi-square test i tink should be correct,now coming to evaluation of the limits ,think should pass through that as well, completed three of the total four questions within the the first one hour and obviously got laid back in the next one hr. with the result was rushing through my 'first principle differentiation' question panicking in the last ten minutes with two parts halfdone but luckily memory,intelligensia..good sense like a crack of lightening came to my rescue to help me scrape through them..microbio up next
its been ages since i saw such a good sunny delhi winter noon ...so cheers to that
till i catch you next
enjoy the sun

happening days

2004-12-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

...and lonely nights...hahahahaha ..okay that was an absolutely bad one ,but it came to me just like that and i felt like putting it down! had my microbiology practical exam today and the synopsis was a pretty unexpected question but bluffed my way through it thx to being a serious student and doing all my experiments diligently,okay after that bout of self admiration ..will come to the experiment which went pretty well partly because there was nothing much to do except fill gelatin in test tubes and wait for it solidify,and streak the petriplates with micro org ,..the viva was taken by RJ (was surprised actually, didn't think he knew microbio too..)..who kept eyeing me all the time before my turn but asked me really easy questions
was just sitting and daydreaming later in the day ,trying to read the mammoth "love in the time of cholera " but mind kept wandering to college ,classmates,but the egoist i am eventually all boiled down to my personality, my reactions in different situations ..more decent term being self analysis..and had to admit i was as much a product of my upbringing(..translated home atmosphere, ..) ;my school ;my staying all my life in a metropolitan like delhi and finally my individuality ,the unique(!) person i really am
so heylady = her individuality + delhi + dps + upbringing..the conclusion drawn from all this is that a dipsite always stands out from the crowd ,a dipsite always sticks out like a sore thumb...when so early in life you are used to (and i mean used to...) the best then anywhere else never matches upto it ..today in a moment of self reflection i realized how much my school has helped in shaping up the person i am today ,i remember in one of our annual day functions our principal chona said this in her concluding speech" an aquaintance asks a boy who is a dps student, 'son what will you be when you grow up?' and the kid replies 'i already am ,i don't need to be anything else'...at that point of time i cudn't understand,but now those words hold more meaning than probably many other things in my life ...i mean sure at a basic level i can relate to all the delhiites in my batch but then a dipsite always stands out,maybe in that sense think it would be a better idea to send ur kid to an okey dokey school...so the kid has no unrealistic high expectations from himself,but has feet firmly planted on ground ,and moresoever can connect with all the other kids he meets in college...but if you look at it from a different angle then now that ur used to the best it makes more sense to maintain that high standard and keep striving for the best in life,..though inwardly i know nothing compares to my alma mater:).........
time flies by when im dreaming n realized little late had to get my eyebrows,waxing etc done(...this being my last post for the time being, now that im leaving for goa tomorow and still have to do all my packing ..:)) so went hunting around for any parlour that might be still open ,discovered a new one whos owner was a sweet lady who pampered me,kept her parlour open even though it was overtime and did a really good job ,think might become a regular there ..
till i catch ya next
njoy

vivas

2004-12-16T04:41:00.000-08:00

had my first practical exam today organic chemistry ..and think everything went fine ,the synopsis was a bit tough though i mean what with having to remember all the reactions and write their chemical equations cudn't exactly recall their products ,but what the heck i mean ofcourse it matters to me but then lets see how i do, the organic theory marks are out,so wud check up on that tomorow...
experiment involved the prepareation of acetanilide form aniline,acetic acid and acetic anhydride..and the viva ,that was another story,you know i think much of how well you do in viva depends upon how well you conduct urself,even if you don't know a thing you are not fazed,and its more to do with playing mind games with the examiner and dominating him esp. if he's not exactly someone who encourages you to come up with answers....anyways all that apart i just couldn't stop laughing in the viva,i mean it was afterall an exam but the minute i saw my co partners faces while they wrestled with the questions put to them i cdn't help giggling...god none of us knew any of the question in entirety half baked answers and my stupid giggling face ....what an exam it was!
anyways till i catch ya
keep smiling;))

george clooney rocks

2004-12-14T23:22:00.000-08:00

saw oceans twelve last evening and i still can't get over my major major crush on george clooney ;he's got what you call charizma,charm,style,class,elegance,all rolled into one i love the way he looks sideways from the slits of his eyes ,the way he walks with that slight swagger like he knows he's the best but makes no big deal about it,his suave uncomplicated style.....the movie's a great one too ;actually i liked it but then im not sure if it would go down as well with everybody..its very stylized,sleek,love the background music that plays everytime they prepare for one more con job,good plot though not a very thrilling climax but see it for the excellent treatment..

just talking-2

2004-12-13T10:26:00.000-08:00

mystery thriller part two
vroooooooom..suddenly there was the roaring shriek of a suzuki motorbike engine ,louder with the passing minute till the twins thought their eardrums would tear apart,who was that mystery man on a shining silver grey mobike and black leather jacket?..he looked so dashing striding towards the twin girl that she abandoned her play midway to greet him with a winning smile...
how do u do maam? looking straight in her eyes
im fine thank you.. shyly albeit eagerly she said
is ur mother home
yes go right in..third room from the left up the stairs
thank you ,ur a very intelligent girl you know..and patting the back of her head he disappeared behind the big mahogany door......

just talking

2004-12-12T23:05:00.000-08:00

mystery thriller part 1
A and B are a couple who have twins ..live in kinkoo estate and there is a huge driveway leading upto the main entrance dotted with palm trees,coconut trees,mangroves,eucalyptus,pine treees that glisten in snow when the winters arrive ,deodars tall dark green and handsome,and jamun trees ...it is a beautiful driveway the main door made of sleek mahogany looks royal and sturdy at the same time ..a beautiful house it is with strong walls and overhanging bottle green twines curled around them jasmine,bougainvillea ,money plant..the twins are playing with their dog in a beautiful garden that stretches towards the woods at the backside of the house and you can hear the ducks quacking in the little shower pond enroute the driveway ...

wats the problem?

2004-12-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

exams would be starting five days from now and thereafter i would be going to goa(yipeeee...!!) for a long long holiday , celebrate my christmas there and come back just in time for theory exams...so considering all play and no work makes heylady a dull girl id better start some serious studyiing,cramming up completing my project assignments and working out ....
okay now that im talking about work it wouldn't be wrong to say that i love studying ..i love my work ..i love academics and the sense of complete control it gives me when im doing something im good at,it gives me a sense of belonging ,it seperates fact from fiction helps me stay grounded , engages my wandering mind and gives it food for thought,my workplace is someplace i have no insecurities where everything has a practical solution and life is just the way i want it to be but then inspite of all the obvious material and psychological benefits of being a hardworking person problem arises when one forgets its human to be to have a short attention span ..to get bored easily..to put off things for'when im in the mood' but keep daydreaming when i do get in one of those moods..to keep dilly dallying till the eleventh hour and run helter skelter in the 12th hour..and an innate ability to mess things up thx to extra careful attention to the tiniest details..
so till i catch you next
the tussle continues

self relevations

2004-12-09T02:43:00.000-08:00

okay ..i think id better accept it..there's absolutely no way i can make it to my college on time..no matter even if i stay only some fifteen minutes away,no matter even if i get up two hours in advance, no matter how much i keep repeating im cool im cool im cool over in my head when my chappals finally do snap broken midway to the bus stop.. i am reduced to carying them in my hands and running barefoot back to house ...no the dogs were not after me..i was tired of limping my way around on one leg and dragging the other ...and secondly i was planning to save time.On reaching home it took me some fifteen minutes deciding which pair to wear ..the silver one with red straps ...no that would look too flashy..the plain black ones ...no they are way too plain ..the brown ones with little heels and two straps...they look so out of date and out of the world(!!)
...finally deciding on the flashy silver(its better to be slightly overdressed than grossly underdressed......
ive only recently realized what a baby i am..i mean sure at the cost of sounding immodest ,flashy,and self engrossed id still go ahead and say im a pretty simple person with no hangups...cool ,carefree attitude wise who would avoid altercations at the slightest opportunity but would love to debate a point any given day...someone not afraid to speak her mind or try out new things ..adventurist..impulsive and extrovert
..but at the same time im not very assertive in personal relations ..most of the times im gripped by the illogical feeling that if i impose my point of view on others they'd probably run away from me and id never see them again the rest of my life...i mean sure thats exaggerating things a bit ..but really how crazy can it get...!...part of this stems from the funny belief that everybody's a fool ..and they don't have enough brains to understand me.. another dominant behaviour ive observed in my personal dealings is giving away too much of me when i stick around with a person over a period of time ...no matter who that person is .. whether he's a trusted friend or just anybody..my fundas ,my values in life that shape my individuality ..that unique identity which is truly me enter the background and suddenly what that person thinks seems to be the most important thing which i feel is not a very healthy thing for ur own self...one ought to be selfish because in the end no matter who comes and goes all u've got is ur own self..
and why is that one is more selfish when hanging around with pple of the same sex than when one is with the opposite sex...
think about it

emotional intelligence

2004-12-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

finishedd fredrick forsythe's "the fourth protocol" two days back...and my my what a book it was..i was riveted till the last page....well not actually because took me around a week to finish it ..butb he spins a web of half truths half lies,deciet,politics,undercover agents,suspicions,cunning plans at the top levels to overthrow ruling governments...
so whats the story?
it revolves around the foreign policy and relations between the soviet union and grt britain...wherein the chief secretary of ussr spins a plan to overthrow the conservative ruliing party in grt britain undre margaret thatcher and replace it with the labour party which is pr russia ...he does it by asking his men (petrofsky) to illegally enter the grt britain and cause nuclear explosion that would swing the votes in favour of the labour party before the election ...how the england's intelligence finds out about their plan and prevents that is what the whole book is about...
anyways im currently reading a "daniel cleaver" book...would tell u all about it later

microbiology

2004-12-02T22:21:00.000-08:00

reached just in time for the microbiology practical to find sweeper throwing dust in my face..whew!why can't they clean the lab.before the class starts ,anyways performed the acid value experiment today in which you have to insert a durham's tube in the nutrient broth with particular precaution not to introduce air bubbles while you do it...almost had a competition of sorts trying to be the first one to introduce it in an inverted position with new tricks everytime...one way you can do it is fill the tube with nutrient broth beforehand..which is quite politically incorrect if i may say so!..or after introducing it shake the tt upside down to get rid of bubbles...which makes the cotton plug wet with broth..so in the end had no option but to try out every hit and trial method to get the perfect durham's tube insertion....
by d way would be probably getting my microbio theory exam results today..so wish me best of luck

hulchul

2004-12-02T08:31:00.000-08:00

i absolutely love math..its fast,logical,mathematical,all equations no crap..either you have the answer in a snap or you don't ...
organic chemistry is turning out to be a tough one though ..all the equations look the same and ive no idea how im gonna memorize them all without mixing them up...the practical is fun though,always a bit of hard work ;but in the end you end up feeling satisfied..and with mr.A to bully around i usually have a whale of a time*winks*
saw "hulchul" in the evening and honestly speaking had it not been for akshaye khanna(everytime i watch his movie ,..i fall in love with him all over again:)) and the truly hilarious "paresh rawal"(who i think even if didn't say a word would still elicit laughter....) the movie would have been an absolute flop show..yes there is too much violence,and the direction is not so great ,..and even though the situational comedy doesn't seem quite so funny after a few scenes....but then it is still worth a dekho...a good timepass ...n esp if ur an "akshaye khanna" fan..

the day of unending classes

2004-12-01T04:25:00.000-08:00

miraculously reached college on time today, actually not now that i come to think of it its been almost two weeks since i missed my early morning clas..hmm good nice to see some improvement,so there i was waiting to be grilled by my not so sweet teachers :UB first class pharmacology,and you guys already know what a terror she is ,esp. so when im her favourite victim;LITTLE OLD MAN :bored us to death with his jadibooties and god knows what weird medicinal plants;physical pharmacy: a substitute had come who i myself admit taught pretty well (but the class kept shooing him off all the time,poor guy by the end got pretty frustrated) partly because the topic was conceptual based and i love solving problems ,applying formulas etc. ;organic chemistry:... mr. A.. honest to god made us write equations longer than a snake's tail(..what a similie,sorry but cudn't find a better comparison than that!..and i cudn't help but wonder if it was a chain reaction that would never stop....microbiology...where the ever hyper Z had an emotional outburst and left the class in tears and the idiot i am..i just couldn't control my laughter and kept giggling all the time..what am i going to do with myself?*giggle*
the practical was another story ..pharmacology ..where i almost always have a tough time getting my act together ,..partly because of so many things to do and so little time to do them all..but the die hard optimist that i am,would certainly try to better my graph the next time round..
till i catch you next
wats life without a little drama..?

spirit

2004-11-29T07:59:00.000-08:00

you fly like an eagle
soaring above the clouds
into an unknown sky
to an unknown horizon
where there is nobody
to tie you down
to hold you back
forever restless you want to fly new skies
discover new horizons
never to stop.
is that why
your instincts tell you
to run away
at the thought of another day spend
on feeding,sleeping
reconfirming your place in society.
you run like a cheetah
a crack of lightening
that was there just a moment ago
for the pleasure it gives you
to know
you are the fastest in your jungle
to feel the wind in your mane
everytime
you give the wind a race.
you want to create
you want to love
you want to give,
yourself away
you want to fly like an eagle

life's a roller coaster

2004-11-29T02:30:00.000-08:00

no today im not going to write about how my day was or other such related stuff...im going to write sumthing out of this world...something spiritual ...something that cannot be put into a language which this world understands...you know sumthing like rock music ...that makes you get out of your skin ..break your shell ..think out of the box...now the question is what may that something be..
take me to a world
where everybody understands the language of love
where clear,blue sparkling streams flow over rocks as smooth as silk
where off into the distance the sky bows down to the earth
take me to a world
where the only music is that of nightingales singing
where the thick,dark woods give me strength with their silence
where the night sky redundant with stars gives me the courage to dream,
and the lofty mountains lush with hidden wonders, the belief to make them come true.
take me to a world
where i can discover the lost and forgotten me
where once more life flows within me.

2004-11-26T20:21:00.000-08:00

oh god ...i absolutely loove rock music....'money, money...mooney.i said hey ...ya hey.....don't stop now...i said hold it......"
by the way i came across this wonderful quote and thought would share it with you
" should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness ,ignorance,smallness or insecurities; remember things could be worse .
you could be one of them!"
till i catch you
be productive

quote for the day

2004-11-26T09:01:00.000-08:00

the only goal you can't accomplish is the one that you don't go after

a slice of life

2004-11-25T11:40:00.000-08:00

the first thing that comes to my mind is rudyard kipling's IF 'if you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch and toss and lose but never breathe a word about your loss..."but sorry i have no intentoins to be an ideal woman so im going to bitch about my loss to everyone esp. when sumthing like that happens to a post i spend hours writing,editing,and rewriting........
had early morning physical pharmacy,organic chemistry lectures and organic chemistry practical later in the day,which was quite a joke thanks to my great lab partner mr.AB ..basically you have to identify an unknown organic sample by chemical tests,..anyways so mr.AB snifs the liquid compound and proudly declares it to be an ester,banking on his sniffing powers i decide that lets perform the melting pt. determination,solubility test and primary test of esters the phenolphthalein test..now you cannot bank on this test because it might not give a positive test even if the conpd. is an ester but even after one hour mr.AB was standing over the water bath waiting for the phenolphthalein to change colour... in the end realized that the compound was not an ester in the first place because all the tests came negative but still had no clue about the compd.'s identity or prepared its derivatives because the compd. had finished ....in desperation thought wud actually ask sir also to just sniff the compound and come to an conclusion(lol)..but thankfully found a lifesaver in 'I' who had the same compd. and copied the results from him...
saw veer-zaara today and i like the movie ...the first half is pretty funny thanks to some histronics by the big b and hemaji ,but found the second half definitely better..really liked rani mukherji's charachter who in the face of adversity gets what she wants anyways...though the movie has its share of sadness in scenes where srk spends a big chunk of his life in jails..but think in the end it sends out a very strong message of optimism..
till i catch you
keep that smile

mayos and things alike

2004-11-24T04:42:00.000-08:00

today was such a cold day...that by d time i reached college i was shivering and frozen partly thx to my "1. its not that cold ...2.i could always manage if im a bit underdressed,but if i load myself with too many sweaters id look like a fool carrying them around when the sun comes out...3.i don't feel like wearing sneakers,sandals are so much more feminine"..etc,etc. stupid philosophies that vanished like a spoof in the same cold air which hit me in my face as i stepped out..
also partly thx to the awful three wheelers you get (that seat six to seven people...)which have absolutely no means of blocking all the cold air rushing in and all one can do is sit as close as possible to the person next to you or pray when this freezing nightmare would come to an end..
anyways had almost all d classes in college today ,pharmacology (UB and her grt sense of humor ...that only she finds funny,while the rest of the class sits terrified..); pharmacognosy
( "little old man" ..saw him first time in a suit and my oh my was he looking cute:));inorganic chemistry(MR.S.. might look like a mouse but packs a punch in all his lectures);physical pharmacy(RJ ..the less said the better,..coz he has an obvious crush on me..:))
till i catch you next
life's like that

04

2004-11-23T06:15:00.000-08:00

had an absolute blast today in college...precisely because out of some six seven lectures had only two, and thanks to some seminar in convention centre the practical was a mass bunk too!..oh god i absolutely loove my class ..because they put up with my idiosyncracies n love me( i think..:)) no matter how mad i may be ,...the proof of this matter of fact being that i was originally sitting in 2nd row and when suddenly i didn't feel like sitting there anymore and realized i had absolutely had to shift to the third row or else i wud die(lol), so though the class was midway in progress and though the third row was bursting with kids.....i forced myself on poor A and asked him to shift ,but mr. smartypants A got up and asked me to move in ..so now i was sandwiched between six guys and i felt that i wud die of suffocation if someone didn't move up front and gave me some space to breathe...with the result that poor A because he was sitting at the corner had to move in the second row....ha ha ha ! oh god..im so crazy!
played dumbsharades and ( a very kiddish ,old n forgotten game but fun nevertheless) hollywood - bollywood during lunch....had almost reached to the point of pulling my hair apart or dying from laughter(whichever is better...) when despite all my efforts to enact first an anarkali ,then salim and finally in desperation emperor "akbar" (!!) still cudn't get them to guess "mughal-e-azam"!...
went shopping in south extn. today, and miraculously for a change got everything i thought im better off dreaming about,coz being a pretty fussy shopper my heart takes ages to develop a liking to sumthing (...or even sumone:)),bought some chic,trendy,fitting pullovers in move ,pink..n levis of course....the salesman at the "old street " store was oh so damn cute,...could have flirted with him for the rest of my life,...but then i think he read my mind coz started acting a little bit pricey..hmph!rounded off the evening with a litchi smoothie in "barista"!
so till i catch ya next
life rocks:))

03

2004-11-22T04:01:00.000-08:00

today was just another day,translated boring ,normal , routine..i hate cold..it numbs your senses , which feels good at first to be honest coz you suddenly don't find urself flying off handle for every little thing which happens to you ,but ..slowly you feel like a blockhead,..you are not able to laugh, cry,feel ,emote taste ..the entire world seems to be coloured in a shade of grey ...and you wish either you were seriously ill with pneumonia,measles or whatever ...or not ill at all..you feel as though you are somehow groping through life with blocked everything from nose onwards till forehead...and even when you do pop a pill, it doesn't entirely solve the problem coz you still feel as if you just got up from a deep slumber..whew!
didn't go to college today,well you know why,..but then by lunch time got fed up of putting up in home, so decided to attend the practical,..but then when i finished getting ready realized that the practical would have started some half hour before so went to the library instead..studied for an hour and came back home.im dying to meet my classmates(no matter how intolerable they may be...)after an unusually long period of holidays so cold or cough don't intend to bunk tomorow's lectures...
till i see ya next
keep the fire alive

caramel custard

2004-11-20T05:22:00.000-08:00

i tried out a new recipe i'd seen on tv..which turned out to be a complete disaster! ...actually when i saw it on the cookery show it looked delicious..what with a handsome guy in a proper chef's uniform making it in a sparkling ,v.modern five star kitchen,with the hosts ooh aahing about how yumm it was, ..but when i tried out practically it tasted completely of eggs..(and i hate eggs!..),and the caramel layer at the bottom turned watery on emptying the mould so that the whole dessert swam in caramel...but still the caramel syrup (and the fruits:banana,apple on top) was probably the best part of the entire dessert!!
so till i see ya next
keep experimenting

hi fellas

2004-11-19T01:35:00.000-08:00

just wanted to say hi to all the oldies and freshers reading my stuff....hang in there !still lots to come.